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Asha Nayaswami lost interest in Stanford after about two weeks. From then on, she made A’s when she went to class and F’s when she didn’t, and within a year she had flunked out, which was just fine with her. The people there were extremely intelligent, but she did not feel they were wise. Why do we live? Why do we suffer? What is the secret of real happiness? Then a fraternity on the Stanford campus invited Swami Kriyananda to speak. When he walked into the room, it was the first time she had ever seen anyone who had what she wanted, and she never looked back. Asha has dedicated her life to Kriya Yoga meditation, devotion to God and service to others, with 45 years of very close association with Kriyananda, a direct disciple of Paramhansa Yogananda, author of Autobiography of a Yogi.
The misery we create
After more than 50 years on the spiritual path, what does Asha know that her younger self could not have understood? The degree to which she created her own misery, and therefore the degree to which she can create her own happiness. You can rarely control circumstances, she says, but you can always at least influence your response. In her view, karma is an unlearned lesson about who we are, what causes suffering and what brings happiness. Like a worm moving away from a needle and towards food, we always go where we think happiness is. The trouble is that we think easy and pleasurable is good, whereas courageous and expansive is what really brings us to happiness.
You are allowed to feel what you feel
Asha calls it a great misunderstanding on the spiritual path that you are not supposed to have these feelings. Grief, anger, fear and jealousy are, in her view, unfinished karma, and you do not get out of them just by hating them. For many years, she says, her personality was a preemptive strike, built to stay ahead of all that unresolved energy until it caught up with her. These days she will often say to herself, yes, I feel this way because I’m just not that good, and then try to minimise the damage. Soul can rejoice, she says, while ego just cries itself to sleep every night.
There is no shortcut
You can’t game the system, Asha says. There is no shortcut, nobody you can bribe, no trick, and the same attitude can be forward for one person and backward for another. Just before she was 20, terrified of conflict, she spent a summer in New York learning to yell at strangers, telling the groceryman he was stealing from her and fighting for the taxi cab. When she noticed she was beginning to enjoy it, she stopped. From then on she was no longer being nice because she was afraid, but because she had mastery over her own energy.
Make your ego your friend
Asha would rather befriend the ego than fight it. Ego, as she defines it, is the infinite self identified with limitation, and it is meant to serve the higher self, not be the dictator. Her formula is to do a little better than your worst. Too tired to wash the dishes? Just stack them before bed. Want to write a horrible email? Write it, but don’t send it. Over time, she says, the ego starts to help: honey, remember what happened the last time you blew up like this?
When prayers are not answered
If a child prays for chocolate cake for breakfast, lunch and dinner and doesn’t get it, Asha asks, has God really failed him? Once, praying for a situation to change while other people were really suffering, she heard an inner voice ask, do you think this is happening outside the will of God? Her prayer changed: whatever you’re trying to teach them, help them to learn it. You can complain all you want, she says, but in the end you have to say, thy will, not mine.
Asha left us with three shiny golden nuggets. First, always do a little better than your worst. Second, consider very deeply your place in relation to a greater reality, whether that is God, a guardian angel or your higher self, and spend a little time in silence, knowing you are not really alone. Third, remember that no minute of your life is unimportant, because every minute you are creating a vibration. The question, she says, is really simple: how can I love more, and how can I serve more?
Watch the full conversation on YouTube
Find Out More About Asha Nayaswami
Website: https://ashajoy.org
Instagram: @innerlifewith_asha
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ashanayaswami
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/innerlifewithasha
Ready to turn your gift for helping people into a real coaching career? Visit: https://riseandthriveglobal.com/positive-psychology-coaching/